One of my fondest memories of the resort town of Gatlinburg, Tennesse, is of the mostly idiotic trends that changed year after year. Hormones ruled that otherwise tranquil glen.

I remember about 1989, when New Kids on the Block was getting big, that someone started the trend of teenagers buying trucks, getting a cover over the back, and then jacking the back end up and tilting it either to the right or the left, probably meaning taken or single. There is no telling how many thousands of young bucks went into debt with a 22% interest rate to wrangle that Dodge.

On their senior high spring break they blew gaskets pushing the red line on an all night run to the Sand Dollar Inn on the white sands of Panama City. There they drank wine coolers, mooned motorcycle cops and broke their ankles jumping off the fourth floor balcony into the pool egged on by the blaring, robo-rebellious, 4 cord harmonies of GnR. They went home to cheat on their advanced math class and secure that coveted real estate appraiser's job in Harriman.

Years later their wives named Vickie or Amber or Sandy planned a vacation for their 2.3 kids whose names are Dustin or Dillard or Katelyn (spelled about 100 different ways) they call me on the dining line for Walt Disney World and ask what is available for a party of 4 at the California Grill on April 15.

I reply, "the only time I have available that night is at 9pm."
They ask, "Do you have something around 7pm available?"
I respond, "No, ma'am, the only time I have available that night is at 9pm."
"Ok, do you have 8:25 available?"
I still respond, "the only time I have available that night is at 9pm."
"Oh, well, I suppose I'll have to call back later."

Come Monday, she will go back to the dentist's office, whine about how her husband doesn't listen to her, and make $45k a year, never grasping the concept that on April 15th, 2003 at the California Grill at Disney's Contemporary Resort that the only time available for dinner for a party of 4 was at 9pm!