The summer of ‘89 I was in a real state of flux. I was 21, no money for college, living with my parents. I saw an ad in the newspaper classifieds, "Make $1,000 a week cash, travel included, call 555-1234 ask for #215." I called. The number belonged to a cheap hotel which had lost it’s accreditation from Motel 6. I was connected to room #215 by the desk clerk whose name was Pac-Man or something that sounded like that.

Raspy, male voice, not expecting a telephone ringing at 11am, barks "Hello?"
"Hi, I’m calling about the newspaper ad."
"Oh, yeah, ok, when can you be at the Old Hickory Hotel?"
"About an hour I guess."
"Great I look forward to meeting you." Click.

I showered, shaved, put on my Sunday best and drove to what Don Henley euphemistically referred to as "the cheatin' side of town."

The Old Hickory Hotel is a name one would frequently see on the evening news proceeded by the words "Another body found at the...". I immediately had reservations, no not that kind of reservation, I mean I had my doubts but, what the heck, I was desperate.

I knocked on the door to room #215. My potential future boss was disheveled, wearing off-white shorts, and a half cut Aerosmith T-shirt which did not belong on someone 250 pounds overweight.

He indicated through a series of simian type grunts that I should sit on the lime blue business chair located an uncomfortable distance from the door. During this highly professional encounter he gingerly maneuvered in one hand, mind you, a cigarette and a can of Coca-Cola.

“Ok. Ah, (cough, cough), I’m the crew leader. We go around in a van selling, Wonder-Clean, an amazing cleaning solution that is earth friendly. We drop you off in a nice neighborhood in the morning and pick you up around 5pm. And what you do is you carry around a bottle of Wonder Clean, a magic marker, and a square of linoleum tile. And you say this,(cough, hack, fur ball rockets across room) - Wonder Clean is the greatest cleaner on the market today, and blah, blah, blah. (cough, cough) And then you get the tile of linoleum and mark on it with a magic marker. Spray it on the tile and it comes right off. It’s 5 bucks a bottle, you get a dollar fifty for each one you sell. We pay for the van, gas, hotel, but the meals are your expenses. Are you available tomorrow?”
“Excuse me? Tomorrow?”
"Yeah. We’re going to central Illinois for a month. Are you in?"
"Um, no of course not, I'll be leaving now."
"Ok, whatever."

Although I haven’t looked him up lately, my Wonder Clean boss- who never provided a name- is most likely the head of a bank or perhaps he will be piloting the space shuttle next year. Nothing can stop him, except maybe a bag of Munchos and a case of Slim Jims.