For most people social interaction comes effortlessly. For others it is a daunting challenge. If invited, they sit in the corner of the room at the party. They disappear into the crowd, simultaneously surrounded by thousands and no one. They don’t even fit in with the non conformists. They have their own rigid self-enforced morality which confines them to a permanently paranoid and slanted view of their peers. At times it appears that their fellows speak another language which they are incapable of learning.

Obviously such skewed emotional delusions are a common feature of the dizzying dance of adolescence but for others that feeling never goes away. And, of course, it is equally clear that the entire system is not against anyone on an individual basis but sometimes dissecting what is "real" and what is "felt" is arduous. In other words, if you break your leg then it is simple to identify the reason why walking is difficult. But who can x-ray a bruised mind?

Dealing with such a trial in the teen years is tough because the subject is in a chaotic zoo called high school. Here lie the exaggerated subdivisions of those who will someday be adults. The jocks, the squares, the Christians, the anarchists, the nerds, the partiers, and whoever else earns a label roam the halls. Here they set the mood and rules for their own crew and those who would interact with them. But what is to be of those who don’t fit in even with the misfits? Worse yet humans are by nature social creatures that inevitably desire intimate companionship and hold on to the need for at least a modicum of recognition for their labor. What is to become of the adults?

Puberty is the dividing line for the reaction of the individual with this yet unnamed anxiety discombobulation. As with many social maladies, 8th grade is a fulcrum year. Here you mull and opt for which path you chose to walk. Most, thankfully, chose to screw up their courage, take their licks, and hope that things will get easier when they are out of school. For the most part it does get easier outside of the classrooms because being an adult comes with the freedom to break or avoid relationships with little or no recourse. A handful turn inward and disappear into the woodwork. They wear matted hair, saggy clothes, and keep to themselves continuously judging the world from an elevated chair of misty expectations. Most will never be heard from again. They seek jobs that require minimal human interaction and they self medicate with alcohol and racists tendencies. A fraction will refuse to evaporate they will strike out. They fantasize more about violence than they do cheerleaders. One day they bring a gun to school and tragedy strikes but for a few minutes they bask in the spotlight fully cognizant that they are noticed by those who cower in fear.

As with almost all problems this can be addressed by breaking the silence. Schools must change the foolish notion that sports means anything more than what it appears to be on the surface. Self expression via art or music must be more appreciated for it is by such efforts the heart speaks or wails and can thus be healed. Hear the heart you fathers and mothers, this is your job. Success in every aspect of adult life depends on how well you know your strengths and weaknesses and discovering the most effect approach to applying them. Only a few find sweet achievements by tossing a basketball or tackling a quarterback so why devote time and money attempting to harvest an occasional crop? Life has a lot of white noise. To survive we must be willing to hear the still small voice of hope gifted by our Maker and reinforced by those who love us.