Chapter Nineteen: Risk

Wednesday, July 6, 1910

"And now I understand the bliss of. And now I understand the bliss of. And now I understand the bliss of. And now I understand the bliss of. And now I understand the bliss of."

Amanda lifted the needle off the record.

Jan yawned, "I missed Chapter Eight?"

She was lying beneath an afghan on the couch.

Amanda quipped, "You've lived chapter eight."

Jan chuckled. "I wish. Wa, wa, wa, wa, where's eh, eh, eh, everybody…?"

Amanda placed the record back in its sleeve.

"Audrey and Lynn are in the master bedroom."

"Ta, ta, ta, two peas in a pod."

"Guess so. Emily and Sarah are upstairs."

"Wa, wa, wa, what time is it?"

"5:21: My mother is supposed to be here at 5:30 am to pick me up. I don't like being seen in public wearing this mask. People either think I am a bandit or a circus performer. Either way, I don't like causing undo commotions."

Amanda continued gathering her things.

Jan sat up and stretched her arms. "Manda?"

She turned around. "Yes?"

Jan carefully attempted to ask, "Um…?"

"What?"

Jan sighed. "Nothing."

Amanda snapped shut her suitcase.

"Ok. Nothing."

Jan bit her lower lip. "Da, da, da, did you ha, ha, ha hear Sarah and I arguing?"

"Some of it. The gist of the argument was you wanted to put Emily in an awkward position so you could watch her fail."

Jan swallowed. "Ya, ya, ya, ya, you are mistaken."

"Since Audrey had her conversion she's been over to your house to go swimming?"

Jan nodded. "So?"

"And you never tried anything with her, did you?"

Jan mumbled, "No."

"Then why was corrupting Emily so important to you?"

Jan became uncomfortable. "I, I, I, I da, da, da, don't know what you're ta, ta, talking about."

"That was a set-up, wasn't it?"

"It was a pa, pa, party."

"No, it wasn't. You wanted to destroy her. You like Emily but a part of you hates her."

Jan gasped. "Tha, tha, that's not tra, tra, tra, true." She growled in frustration. "Emily… f, f, f, friend."

"You despise her because she has something you don't, the semblance of character."

"Ya, ya, ya, your ra, ra, wrong about…."

"Little Miss Debutant with an indoor pool is jealous of a bakery girl from Cow-Town USA."

"Don't be ri, ri, ri, ridiculous."

"Emily has a friendship with Sarah that runs deeper than your paling around with Karen."

"Ya, ya, ya, you can't judge me."

"But you can judge others which is why you wanted to prove that Emily was a hypocrite. If there is nothing to believe in then there is no reason to be jealous of her. You would have a legitimate excuse to be shallow."

Jan started to get up. Amanda grabbed her hand and pulled her back down.

"I'm not through with you."

Jan bolted from the couch. Amanda struggled to keep her in the parlor.

"If Emily, a life-long church goer is just as fickle, fallible and flaky as you then…."

Jan shouted, "Then everything is meaningless and my mother's died for no reason!"

Amanda opened up her mouth to respond but she stopped when she heard Lynn ask, "Is anything amiss?"

Jan said, "Um…?"

Amanda tried to imitate Jan's tone, "Then everything is meaningless! And there was no purpose in my mother bringing me back to Eagle Creek," shouted Amanda. "I'm sorry. Jan and I were having a discussion comparing cities. I guess I'm a Sioux Falls gal at heart. I apologize Lynn; I lose my temper too easily."

Lynn yawned, "Ok, just keep it down, please."

Jan made the hush sign.

Lynn nodded and walked back down the hall.

Jan and Amanda waited a couple of seconds. Emily and Sarah remained asleep.

"As I was saying, I don't know why your mother died. I'm not the one ask about such matters because I'm still a mess myself. You and I are in the same boat, maybe we can get through this together."

Jan scrunched her eyebrows. "Eh, eh, eh, explain."

"I live at 412 Cedar Street in Eagle Creek. Some charity gave me a typewriter with Braille letters embossed on it. My mother should've told them that I don't know how to read Braille nor was I interested in doing so, but, in any case, you can write me if you need someone to talk to who is a girl like you… one who hides behind a mask."

"How ca, ca, can we ka, ka, ka, keep it be pa, pa, pa, private?"

"I didn't consider that. Jake or my sisters or my mother reads my letters for me." She rubbed her chin. "Here's what we'll do. Write in code. Figure out some way of telling me what you need to tell me while retaining Jake's innocence."

Jan noticed a light approaching towards the porch. "Ya, ya, ya, your mother is…."

"Oh, oh yeah. Can you walk me to the front door so she won't knock?"

Jan lead her by the arm to the front door.

Amanda opened it and stepped out on to the porch. "I saw your light from the parlor."

Beverly Taylor instinctively nodded. "Ok." She stopped. "Wait a second!"

Amanda laughed. "Thanks for coming to pick me up."

She yawned and hugged her daughter. "Of course, Sweetie."

"Ha, ha, ha, here's your suitcase."

Beverly picked it up.

"Thank you. Are you a friend of Amanda's?"

Jan nodded and smiled. "Mmm hmm."

"A dear friend mother." She said with a smile. "Are you going to write me?"

Jan hesitated, "Um." She sighed. "Um… um… ssh, ssh, sure," she said half-heartedly.

Amanda quietly pleaded with her, "Jan?"

There were three seconds of awkward silence.

"Ha, ha, ha, have a safe trip home."

Jan scurried back up the stairs to the front door.

When she heard the door shut Amanda collapsed her shoulders.

"Ok, mother, let's go."

As she helped her daughter into the wagon Beverly asked, "Are you alright?"

She mumbled, "I'm as fine as I'll ever be, mother. Thanks for asking."

The wagon rolled away into the thick morning fog.