Wednesday, August 31, 1910
Sarah approached her usual lunch spot with some with trepidation. "Um, what are you doing here?"
Boo raised an eyebrow. She signaled with her right trigger finger for Sarah to approach as if she desired to share some dire secret. Sarah leaned in close.
"Don't let this get around," Boo looked both ways. "But, I'm eating a peanut butter 'n jelly sandwich."
Amelia and Henry snickered along with her.
Sarah straightened up. "What I mean is: this is our spot."
Amelia shrugged. "Who's our?"
Sarah was flabbergasted. "Emily and Lynn; but, they are not going to be here any more, so, I suppose you're right, it's no one's spot." She started to turn around.
"Where ya goin'?" asked Henry.
Sarah spun back around. She gave half a smile. "You didn't say I should leave." She started to sit down.
"Nor did we say you could stay" said Amelia warily.
Sarah looked over. Amelia was chuckling.
Sarah made a monkey face. Amelia responded in kind.
Sarah sat down next to Amelia on the big log. Boo and Henry were on the other log, facing them.
Sarah placed her lunch on the large tree stump which served as their table.
"My name is Amelia Longwood. I'm in seventh grade. My parents liked the town so much because of the music festival that they decided to move here."
Sarah shook her hand. "Sarah Conrad. I'm a senior."
"Jake told us about how you hired him to draw portraits at your slumber party. That was a big deal for him."
Sarah nodded. "His first paid job as an artist."
Sarah stuck out her hand.
"Boo isn't it?" She shook it.
"That's right. I'm in eighth grade. I was born in Fargo which explains why I look different from you."
Henry stuck out his hand. "Wilhelm the Second, Emperor of Prussia."
Sarah started to shake his hand. She guffawed, "Henry?"
The group laughed.
Sarah was amazed. "I didn't know you had a sense of humor." She took a bite of chicken.
Henry shrugged. "Neither did I until I met Boo.
It's been a good school year. So far, I haven't gotten into any trouble. Amelia and Boo already know about my plight and they don't care. Mrs. Evans is willing to give me another chance. The other kids are…," Henry sighed. "Well, I can understand why they don't want to be around me. Heck, sometimes, I don't even want to be around me."
Sarah meekly nodded. "I know the feeling."
Boo asked, "So when are your friends Lynn and Emily leaving for Helena?"
Sarah scrunched her face. "How'd you know about that?"
Henry said, "I heard them telling Mrs. Hall about it this morning. I had to give her a note from Julius and Reverend Litchfield saying that I'd been doing my work and not causing any trouble."
Sarah raised an eyebrow.
Henry said, "I already apologized to Kimberly Buchanan. Nothing happened except that I scared her a little and, I know I shouldn't have done that but… I dunno, I was bored and… and frustrated because girls never want to talk to me."
Sarah replied, "I've talked to you."
He shook his head. "Outside of the jail cell that time, can you recall one conversation we've had?"
Sarah squirmed in her seat. "No, I sure can't."
"I'm not blaming you, Sarah, really, I'm just trying to provide a little background. It's not that people are evil it's just that sometimes, that's all they know how to be so they use it as an excuse."
Sarah swished her mouth. "I've never considered that."
He continued, "I mean, people like you and Kimberly and Jake and Brian, you're practically perfect."
Sarah almost choked on her sandwich. "Pardon?"
"Yeah, well, not that you don't sin or anything but you don't do it where's folks can tell it."
"Well, I... I... have never done anything worthy of incarceration."
Amelia spoke up, "And you got lots and lots of money."
Sarah shrugged. "I do."
Boo said, "And, here's the ringer, you're white."
Sarah said defensively, "So I'm a rich white girl who's never gone to jail that's far from perfection."
Amelia replied, "Near enough for people like us to be shunned."
Sarah shook her head. "I'm not shunning you."
"What are you doing in our spot?" snapped Boo.
"I meant," she looked around. "Emily and I have been eating here since first grade." She collapsed her shoulders. "But now, that's gone."
Amelia said softly, "It's not gone, it's just different."
Sarah wasn't convinced.
Boo said, "Change happens without your consent."
Sarah said softly, "My friends are gone."
Amelia nodded. "Yup. That stinks, doesn't it?"
Sarah wiped away a tear.
"But in all likelihood you'll get to see them again. Sarah, I'm from Fargo. Do you think I'll ever see my friends again?"
She didn't know how to respond.
Henry said, "And hardly anybody in this town wants to be my friend. I mean, that's part of the reason why I was so rough on Kimberly. She's part of that," he shook his head. "Pretty, rich, la-te-da group with all her…." He stopped. "Wait a second, I shouldn't think stuff like that."
He cleared his throat.
"Honestly and truly, I just wanted Kimberly to talk to me. She's so nice to all the other kids. When I knew she wouldn't speak to me, well, I got mad. I'm not blaming her; she's wise to avoid me. Anyway, the more she resisted the angrier I got until I demanded a kiss from her. And, yeah, I know that was a stupid thing to do, but, I've never kissed a girl but I want to, like every other boy my age."
"Henry?" said Boo.
He turned her way.
She kissed him.
Sarah's mouth was agape. Amelia giggled.
She completed the kiss.
Henry was breathless. He mouthed, "Wow!"
Boo shrugged. "Now you know."
Sarah was shifting her eyes.
Boo said, "Just so we're clear, that's a one time event."
Henry wore half-a-smile. "Ok. I wasn't expecting to ever kiss you. You're pretty and all but, I never thought about… you know… me and you. We just met."
"I'm crazy like that sometimes. I just don't want to see you all whinny about how nobody likes you and you've never kissed a girl. Well, now you have, so, move on with your life."
Henry smiled. "I will."
Sarah took a swig from her Coca-Cola.
"I just act on impulse sometimes, its fun." She pointed towards the playground. "See those three boys sitting on the bench under the big tree with a swing?"
Sarah took another swig and looked.
"I kissed the middle one last night."
Sarah choked on her fizzy beverage.
Henry said, "His name is Pete Jackson. He's friends with Tommy Grossman and Russell Stead."
Sarah was trying to recompose herself.
"I ran away from home last night and…."
Amelia asked, "You ran away from home?"
Boo nodded. "I run away once a week. My mother knows about it, so, if I disappear she doesn't call the police." She took another bite of her sandwich. "I'm very strong willed."
Henry chuckled, "I'll say."
"Last night I was wandering around town, not really doing anything, and I saw these two girls running out of that restaurant. One was some blonde I didn't know; the other was that girl from the bakery."
"Lynn Watson and Emily Clementine" said Sarah.
"Anyway, they start running down the street like they were racing. I followed. The blonde one...."
"Lynn."
Boo nodded. "Lynn runs around back of this building, Emily follows. When I came around the corner, Lynn was kissing Pete."
Sarah's eyes bulged.
"She then gives this smug look to Emily, who, in turn, kisses Pete. Before they had a chance to get mad at each other, I decided to kiss him myself. Mine was much more… intense."
Amelia rubbed her hands together. "Tell me more."
"Pete was..." Boo fanned herself.
Amelia looked back over at him. "I see what you mean, he is handsome."
Sarah spoke in a catty but understanding tone, "Pete Jackson is my boyfriend."
Boo leaned in. "Then why was he kissing three other girls last night?"
"He... he had no choice!"
Amelia and Boo giggled at Sarah.
"Pete Jackson is my boyfriend despite kissing my other two friends and a strange girl that just moved into town." The more Sarah spoke the less she became convinced of her own proposition.
Amelia asked, "If he's your boyfriend, then why isn't he eating lunch with you?"
"Just because... no real reason." Sarah checked herself.
"Come on! Come on! Say it Sarah Conrad." Boo was insistent.
Sarah shook her head. "I don't think this is any of your concern."
Boo shrugged. "Fine, then I'll kiss him again."
"No!" Sarah reached out her hand. "Ok, you got me. I do not want to be seen with Pete because…." She brushed some hair from her forehead. "Because I don't want Tommy to think I'm not available for him."
Sarah sat up. She was completely unsure of herself.
Henry said matter-of-factly, "So, you're using him?"
"No," Sarah shook her head. "I am not using him. I do not use people for affection. Boys do that!" She cringed, hoping the listeners were too young and naïve to not catch on to her obvious contradiction.
Henry chuckled to himself.
Sarah snapped, "You're one to speak, Henry Tyler." Sarah gave a secretive glare at him, like she had knowledge which he hoped to keep confidential.
Henry's face fell.
Amelia asked, "What's that about?"
Henry didn't reply.
Boo put an arm on his shoulder. "What is it?"
Henry was mute.
Boo whispered, "Are you mad at Sarah?"
Henry nodded.
"Then quit hiding and she'll have nothing with which to expose you."
Henry's lip quivered, "I…," he wiped his nose. "I lied just now. I have kissed a girl, but, I don't want to remember about it because she," he sighed. "I used to be cruel to her and," he sniffed. "She, um, liked it."
Sarah couldn't believe her ears. "What?"
"She," Henry shook his head. "She liked it when I would come over to her house and... um."
Sarah growled, "You lunatic! She doesn't like you. She hates you!"
Henry snapped, "Only half as much as I hate myself!"
Henry struggled to keep from crying.
Amelia asked, "She doesn't have a family either?"
Henry shook his head, no. "Her mama was a prostitute. Me and my dad were the only people who wanted to have anything to do with her."
Sarah was in shock. "You perverted little monster!"
"She and I would... um... anyway, sometimes though, we'd just talk. She was real lonely and poor. She was always sad because the other girls at school wore fancy dresses. Sometimes she didn't go to school, especially if she didn't have any food. So, I'd sometimes steal some apples or maybe take some of the food the Methodist Church would give us and I'd go over there and..."
Sarah was overwhelmed. "I don't believe what I'm hearing! You disgusting lout! You misused a girl physically, emotionally, and heaven only knows what other ways and you excuse it as you were somehow being nice to her by your feeble attempts at ensuring she doesn’t starve!"
Boo put an arm around him. "Sssh! It's ok."
"It's not ok!" replied Sarah. "It will never be ok as long as this degenerate beast slimes through our streets!"
Amelia asked, "What are you doing with Pete?"
"I am fulfilling his desire for discrete companionship and I am fulfilling my desire for affections while leaving open the possibility that I can get rid of him if the boy I truly love seeks me!"
Boo shrugged. "That sounds like the same thing Henry was doing."
Sarah gasped. "This is madness!" She pointed to herself. "I am a woman! I have needs! This insufferable demon got his jollies through pseudo-slavery. That is hardly the same thing as me using Pete Jackson for," she stopped.
Sarah bit her finger. She let go and began wagging it in Boo's face and then Amelia's.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Not the same! Not the same! You girls know what it's like! If I don't have a boyfriend then what am I supposed to do with...?" She hid her face in her hands. "No, no, dadgumit! I am not Henry Tyler!"
Amelia whispered, "That's right, you're not as sexually demanding, but you are just as manipulative."
Sarah cried.
Amelia rubbed her back.
Boo whispered, "What Henry did was evil but he expected nothing else. You on the other hand, you know better but like so many other girls, you do it anyway because you can't get caught and even if you do, it's acceptable because you're an innocent, white-as-snow little lamb. You can cry your way out of consequences."
Sarah growled, "You're not perfect either."
"I've never claimed perfection or innocence only honesty. I kissed Pete Jackson because I thought it was funny and if he ever asks I will not hesitate to tell him that. Like the way I just kissed Henry here, it was my way of telling him that he's acceptable to me the way he is right now.
Henry doesn't have to hide behind his gender or his religion or his money; he can be a fallible, misfit and as long as he is honest with me in his pursuit of personal improvement then I will gladly be his friend. Since I've known him I haven't asked one question about Henry's past because to me it didn't matter! He is my friend and I love him the way he is, warts and all with the same fervor that I love Amelia another misfit here in this storybook land of crusty old secrets and perpetually unattainable expectations.
And I say all this not to discredit Eagle Creek nor to assuage Henry's guilt I say all this only to let you know that not all girls have to follow the same worn out pattern of being unpaid courtesans to the male oligarchy we can be secure in ourselves all by ourselves without the approval of a man whom we woefully believe will somehow transform into Prince Charming. I can be Boo and that's just fine. I can love myself in spite of foibles and without manipulation or hints or lowered standards or continual second guessing. I can be just like that girl who ran the music festival: dedicated, confident, yearning for applause but ultimately needing no one's approval but her own."
Sarah whispered, "That girl who ran the music festival... that was Lynn Watson."
"Oh yeah," said Amelia, "That's where I remember hearing her name."
"Maybe," Sarah sighed. "Maybe that's why my father asked her to direct it instead of me."
The girls were confused.
"My father, Michael Conrad, is the foundation president for the music festival. He chooses a new director every year. When he chose Lynn, I was livid! I deserved that..." Sarah put her hand over her mouth. She formed a small slit with her fingers. "That's why he didn't choose me?"
Boo nodded. "Probably. Or, it could be any number of other things. Maybe she was a better organizer or she knew more about music or...."
Sarah snapped her fingers. "Or maybe... maybe she needed this experience more than I did."
Henry shrugged. "I needed to go to jail."
Boo said, "I needed to find new friends."
Amelia thought for a moment. "My parents wanted to move away from the stress of River City, so, mine not's all that philosophical."
The group snickered.
"Boo," said Sarah as she stood up. "You've given me a lot to think about."
Boo shrugged. "I just like to jabber."
Sarah looked to Henry. "And you sir," she shook her head. "Stay on these roads and a whole new world of possibilities will open up for you."
"Goodbye, Sarah, it was nice having lunch with you" said Amelia.
"You too," Sarah smiled. "You too."
